#tohellwiththatdiet!!!...

Cold maize will make your stomach bloat, they say
Warm water will melt the fat away.
Do you really want to lose weight?
Then watch that stuff you put on your plate.
Today, “sugar and starch are bad for you”,
Tomorrow, “meat samosas and mandazis too”.
If you’re serious, then cut out bread, eggs and cake,
Because your stomach pudgy, they will make.
They warn that the calories in that slice of chocolate cake
Are as deadly as a flavored milkshake.
Instead, a glass of lemon water and honey,
Will not cost you too much money.
Also, kale and watermelon smoothies in the morning.
Will keep your stomach from groaning.
“And what about some coffee?” I ask.
“No.” They recommend a cup of green tea from the flask.
Yellow bananas, red berries, green peppers and orange oranges.
I am praying this diet will work because the changes
Are driving me crazy
My sight is becoming hazy.
Words like wellness, sijui, the mind, body and spirit,
At this rate, I doubt I can do it.
Weight-loss, low-fat, detox, healthy eating,
Forget chips and burgers at a Javas seating.
Metabolism, BMI, blood sugar, nutrition,
Will these really bring my slimming plans to fruition?
Juicing, slimming fibers, fat-burning, shredding,
No, this alien vocabulary I will not be needing.

To hell with the diet.