#doordie

My friend is sick and I have gone to the hospital to be with her.
As I wait for the doctor to complete his procedures,
I walk out of the building to catch some fresh air.
While I am leaning on the balcony, I overhear a conversation between a young woman who is standing a few feet away, and someone on the phone, someone, I am later to learn, is her pastor.
She urgently seeks his advice.
It is a matter of life and death.
And since I cannot hear the voice on the other side, I will imagine what he says.

Caller: Pastor, gyebale ko.
Pastor: Kale, Kristiina. Amiina!

Kristiina: Nze Pastor, nnina ekizibu kinene!
Pastor: The Bible says, “Ask and you shall receive.” What is the problem?

Kristiina: I’m here at the hospital with a fellow church member. Mirembe.
(Pastor must know this Mirembe member of his flock because Kristiina continues breathlessly.)

Kristiina: You see, I am in a quagmire of sorts. She has been in labour for four days now and the doctor says she must be operated if the baby is to be delivered safely.

Pastor: I hear….
Kristiina: Now Pastor, the doctor has told me to sign the consent form but for me I can't.

Pastor: Why?
Kristiina: (Agitated) Pastor, I cannot do that! What if the worst happens?! What will I do? Where will I hide? How will I live with it? No, I will not!

Pastor: Calm down Kristiina, calm down.
Kristiina: No! No! No! I will not calm down! That stupid husband of hers is just fooling me! He says that he is out of town and keeps lying to me that he is on the way but he has not arrived. Now he is saying that he will be here by 11pm and yet the doctor says this is an emergency!

Pastor: ???
Kristiina: Anyway, I am leaving the hospital Pastor. I know God will forgive me. I have been here two days now and the baby doesn’t want to come, so for me I am going back home.

Pastor (pleading): Kristiina, Mirembe is your friend, do not abandon her in her time of need.
Kristiina: Nedda Pastor, remember I have a man. The one you prayed for me to get. Do you want him to leave me?

Pastor: Of course not!
Kristiina: Then I am risking my bufumbo. Do you know that he has started abusing me, mbu I am staying out too late and not cooking for him?

Pastor: (Taken aback)
Kristiina: Yes! If she goes into the theatre now, she’ll probably leave at 2am. Saawa munaana! Whose house do you enter at that time of the morning? Whose?

Pastor: Kristiina, the Bible says…
Kristiina: Today it is not about what the Holy Book says. I am running away from Mirembe, I am. And do you know what Pastor? These days my husband has been doing so much for me. He is giving me extra loving and care. Everything I tell him to do, he does.

(I honestly do not know what Pastor says at this stage but it must have a cooling effect. Because …)

Kristiina: Kale Pastor.