#thenewhire

 Ma Lihanna’s new maid starts all her sentences with “You”. “You gendi betthe" (You go and bathe), “You stop shoutingi”, “You oni the TV” (You switch on the TV), and things like that. And she has done another murder on Lihanna’s name because it is now a mix between Riona, Leona, and Fiona.

She must have been around for a couple of weeks now. Ma Lihanna mentioned to me three weeks ago that she was bringing a new girl after a temporary lull. (There was an unfortunate incident, a VERY unfortunate incident, involving the last maid, hence my short-term silence on the goings-on in this residence). 

The new maid has a baby voice. I hope I can do the audio just so you know how she sounds. To be honest, whenever I tried out that voice last evening, I doubled up, because mine came out sounding so funny. She’s a nice sort, it seems and even when the kids really s-t-r-e-t-c-h her patience, she shouts only a little bit. Last Monday, she was playing a Catholic service on her phone radio in their backyard, and praying along to the Mirembe Marias. 

But she couldn't pray along last evening, because her wards- Lihanna and her younger sister- were in rowdy mode. Full of beans, jumping beans. I think they had beans for lunch at school, but really bad beans, because they were so unruly. I could them yelling from the high command center that is my bedroom. 

Someone had thrown her schoolbag by the door and was shouting “No! No!” to all requests to pick it up. In between there were some howls- it must have been Lihanna because the voice sounded bigger. Then when it was time to “Gendi betthe” (Go and bathe), someone started protesting that she wanted to use the shower and the maid was saying, “No, you use the bensin!” and then more yowling. 
Of course the mother in me leaped to my feet, I was about to walk round to their house and tell them to “do as you are told and go to bed!” but I held back and let Maid take charge. After all, she's being paid. 

Suppertime. “You harryap and finish yuwa food!” (Hurry up and finish your food!) That elicited a choir of cries. 

I think they must have gone to bed at about 10pm or thereabouts because their shouts were still audible when Agataliiko Nfuufu started. Then I zoned out to watch the funny stories, with the head of the Abasamize falling headlong into an open grave when shots rang out as they fought over one of their dead members.