#ifinishedP7

They leap high in the air, they dance to Sheeba's Nkwatako, they smile widely and wave to the camera or shake their bu-waists to some Ganda beat. Others are bounced up and down by their teachers and peers, as they put their hands over their mouths in fear. These scenes are played out in front of the administration block with the school bus parked not very far off. Then they stand in a not-very-large group and start giving their testimonies, thanking the Almighty, their teachers, their parents, Bukedde newspaper for its exam questions' supplements.
More often than not, the event is crowned with an announcement by the beaming head teacher sitting behind a busy-looking desk with files and papers and there's a fan standing in the corner. "We have done our job, all the pupils have passed in first grade! Please bring your children to Mixed Modern Parents and Teachers Kindergarten and Primary School next year!"
Other channels run news reports about "Boys AGE Girls", which districts were best and which did worst, and what the Education minister and the Secretary for UNEB said and promised to take care of this year.
And for radio, weak, tired lines about "Girls performed better than boys", and how many pupils had their results withheld because of exam malpractice compared to the so many cases of last year.
Some channels take it a step further and provide their viewers with a follow-up on a child they featured before the exams- perhaps she was disadvantaged by the distance to school, or he is living with a disability. And it works even better if the child has "passed with a first grade". (You can sometimes actually hear a hint of boast in the reporter's voice).
And for days and days and more days, the newspapers run stories and stories and more stories on those who did well. No mention about those with myendas.
By the way, the headline for the day after the PLE results' release event is set the minute the ministry hints that it will be releasing the results on a future date.
The Day Two and Three after results are reserved for the Aggregates Sixes and Sevens. Then in the days following, it is about the Aggregates Nines, Tens, Elevens, Twelves and the tame Grade Twos, until it peters out and stops being news. And then we wait for the O-Levels.
(By the way, I have been a beneficiary of this newspaper coverage, when my son aced his O-Levels- forgive the quick boast).
Those newspaper stories run along these lines, "I was sick but...", "My mother struggled with fees...", "I prayed so hard...", "Some malicious human being stole my Science notes at the last minute...", and so on and so forth.
And tweeps on Twitter will moan about how, "I will not be buying any newspapers for the next two weeks until all this PLE hullabaloo is over!" (as if they even buy newspapers). Another one will go on about the lack of creativity in how the media reports these exams year after year (No tips or advice on how they can make it more enticing, they just moan and moan, on and on).
And then one day it's all over. And we return to the humdrum of annual reports on domestic violence being launched in air-conditioned hotel rooms, expectant mothers in a remote district who have no access to a proper medical facility, the President commissioning a road, Special Police Constables thumping a village chairman to pulp, the Opposition threatening to take action on corrupt government officials who steal taxpayers' money, a cabinet minister advising people to wash hands before and after they visit the toilet, a bishop telling churchgoers to be united and kind to their neighbors. Blah, blah and even more blah.
Congratulations to all the 2016 PLE candidates, whether you passed or didn't. These exams and your graduation from Primary school is a major step in your life that deserves celebration!!