#iamcy

I saw him again today. My heart skipped a beat when we entered the bus. He sat a couple of seats away. But we couldn't even touch because we are not allowed to. He was handcuffed to someone else. Later in court, we actually sat next to each other. I wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him how much I missed him and how scared I was. I wanted to tell him to take me to a safe place, back home. But I kept quiet. In the same moment, I was consumed by a bile-rising feeling, and I hated him for putting me into so much shit.
My name is Cy. I want to wake up from this never-ending nightmare, but I can’t. Because this is my life right now. I got in and cannot get out. This is my life.

I have no idea why there is all this brouhaha over what happened on 12th November. Yes, a man was killed. But men are killed everyday. I mean- check what happens in Syria, Iraq, Iran, Somalia next door. Just the other day, Russia's ambassador to Turkey was gunned down at an art exhibition in Ankara. In front of art-lovers!! I mean, he was a big person, and I can understand the reaction because this has diplomatic undertones. But in our case it was a social worker who was trying to attack us and was shot by his accomplice? Or was he? I'm kind of mixing up the facts right now. Jeex! Am I losing my memory?
From what I recall, we had had a nice day, waking up late. I had been spending some time at  Matthew’s cribe. For breakfast, the maid had laid out a spread- fruit, toast, juice- just what a prince and princess would eat. We left home at 2:30pm for a party on the other side of town. The party was good, everyone was there. 
Anyway, we left later in the evening. I was driving Mathew’s car, a Toyota Prado SUV. By the way, I have always suspected that he loves that car more than he loves me.
When we got to Lugogo, we decided not to go all the way to the Nakawa traffic lights and took the turning near Game. I am not sure about what happened but suddenly there was a dull bang and something hit the car. When I braked sharply, two people leapt out of nowhere. They ran towards us. One was brandishing a pistol. I have never felt fear like I did at that moment. My blood ran cold, I gripped the steering wheel, I couldn't even utter a word, let alone a sound.
Matthew had been replying texts, business related messages with an associate. “F###! He yelled. “What the f##*??!!
I saw the men, he didn’t. He yanked open the door and jumped out of the car. He was raving mad. At that moment, we heard a shot. It was getting dark and we couldn’t see very well, but even in the midst of all the noise from the traffic, I heard a shout.
Matthew sprung back into the car. He was shaking. “Darling, darling. Get down!!! In my haste to get down, I hit my forehead on the steering wheel. Meanwhile, Matthew had jumped into the back seat and lay across it.
After what seemed like hours, though it was only a few minutes, Matthew bravely emerged from the car. Like I suspected, someone had been shot. He lay on the ground, his cap a few feet away. His shirt was starting to get stained with blood. The man, looked rather young, early thirtyish. His eyes were shut and his breathing was shallow. Matthew felt his pulse. He was alive. My boyfriend drove the car to the other side of the road and parked. Then we lifted the injured man into the car and rushed him to hospital. On the way, Matthew made a few phone calls.
The man regained consciousness on the way to Nakasero hospital. He told us his name was Kenneht. Only Kenneth. "Don't worry, lie still. We'll get you to a doctor soon."
Luckily, the emergency unit there was very welcoming and they admitted him immediately for first aid. I was happy that we had saved someone’s life. Somewhere during the evening, Nakasero hopsital informed us that the injury was bigger than they had anticipated. He had a bullet lodged in his insides and was losing a lot of blood,. They referred him to Norvik Hospital’s Intensive Care Unit. His relatives had heard the unfortunate news and drove to the hospital.
Unfortunately, he died the next morning.

You cannot imagine my shock when the police called Matthew over a statement the man had allegedly made- ati we were the ones who had shot him! And yet we had bravely come to his rescue and taken him to hospital, I was dumbfounded. Naye, people can be weird! They never ever, never E-V-E-R appreciate the things we do for them!

Naye gwe, the brouhaha was deep. We were arrested. We made front page. There were rumors that we had chased the man all the way from Legends Bar after he had knocked and scratched Matthew’s car and then we demanded he pay and that when he could not, Matthew had shot him.

I now know who my real friends are. The two-faced wolves who friend me on Facebook, shared my pictures with the media. That one where I was seated in the back of a car, looking all nice and made up in a cobalt blue dress. I am certain that they are the ones who shared that all over the networks. Then they started the story that Matthew is related to Besigye’s wife. Well he is. So what then?

Nine days later we appeared in court. I had been locked up at the police Special Investigations Unit in Kireka and had only seen Matthew twice during that time. But we talked on phone every night and he told me to be strong and that he would get me out of this mess. He told me that his older brother Joseph was also behind bars. The officers at the unit were nice, they let me sleep in a warm room, on a fat mattress and clean sheets. My sisters came to see me. They cried and cried and told me everything would be okay. Surprisingly, nobody asked me what happened that fateful evening. I guess they didn't want to hear the truth.

We were charged for murder. Murder. Now that is a big word. Murder. But when we went to court we were smiling. Nearly laughing. I was not happy inside, but my face looked happy. We were smartly dressed, Matthew in a grey suit and I in a black trouser suit and pink shirt. Joseph's beard had grown. I was so happy to see the man I love. Then I was sad. But we hugged and sat next to each other and smiled widely all through the proceedings. This was temporary, I thought. It would pass soon.

I had never been to prison. Even seen the buildings from afar. But when the magistrate announced that we would be going to Luzira prison, even the word “murder” suddenly felt so minute. Everything was happening so fast. Killing someone, and then being locked up in a maximum security prison! And I was definitely not the one who had pulled the trigger! How did he think I was going to survive? In a yellow uniform tena? Feed on a prison diet till God knows when? A model with my own agency? In a foreign country? Me? A whole me!
This was a bad dream. I knew I would soon wake up. But the harder I pinched myself, the more pain I felt and I realized that there would be no waking up to do.

Disclaimer ******These events exist only in my imagination *************