#newneighbour

The estate's latest tenant is gifted in the looks department. He doesn’t quite fall in the TDH category though- only possessing the Tall and Handsome qualities, and a 50% dose of melanin, which means, he's not that Dark.
Today, in the space of just 30 minutes, I learned several new things about the neighbor, things that I have not had the opportunity to know in the three weeks since he moved in (Trust me, I do not have my eye on him, the ear most probably). Through his five phone conversations, I picked up the following plus more:
First, that he is multi-lingual.
Two that he is street-smart.
Three that he is out of a job.
Four, he will soon be on a sojourn in a foreign country.
Plus more.
These “facts” were uncovered in the taxi that took us into town. I sat next to him, but he probably doesn’t recognize me. First call is to someone he greets, “Gyebale ko!” Ebyaffe wabikozeeko?” That did the person on the other end “work on the other things?”
It seems not, because he says, “Meeeni, kiri bubi. Naye, nja kumukoona ko leero. Nina okukikutula. Okimanyi!” Man, things are not good, but anyway, he would call him up today and conclude the matter.
(Street smart guy this one.)
######
The second call is made in a language that has the word “chakari.” One of the 4Rs in western Uganda. It lasts about three minutes.
“… passport…. Zambia…”
The other person must have asked how soon this plan was to be executed.
“Chakari… I need the passport tomorrow… traveling Monday. See you later."
(Okay, so he's travelling soon?)
######
The third call goes to, most probably- a lady. A female he has designs on. A lady he works with. Because his voice softens and goes a few decibels lower. We are in Mpererwe.
“Hi. How was your night? Where are you?”
“You are home?” (I’ll never be able to get my head round why some people omit the word “at” in between ‘are’ and ‘home’.)
“I am in Wandegeya. Very near the office. (Liar.)
The next statement proves that he really needs to be sweet to whoever he is talking to. “Actually, I have to first go to town, I will be at work at around 10. Is that okay? I mean… if it is not…”
The other person must have said it was okay.
“Uh, thanks. So… can I bring you something? Anything.”
The other person must have said, “No, I’m fine.”
“You’re sure you don’t want anything? Really? Kale, see you later.”
(Office romance?)
#######
By the time he dials the fourth person, we are stuck in the Kalerwe roundabout’s perennial early morning traffic jam. Another workmate. Straight to business.
“Gwe, man, we have a problem.” He sounds ominous.
The other person must have said, “What?” and leapt out of his slumber, or sat down heavily on the bed, or first stopped munching on his breakfast.
“Something has happened. Maureen.”
Dark clouds are gathering.
The other person probably asks him to spill.
“Maureen called me after the meeting. She said… that she saw me… handing you money.” He is kind of whispering.
The other person must have said a loud, “Eh?”
“Yeah, she knows. But I DO not remember giving you any money. On that day, I ONLY remember handing you my accountability. My memory tells me we only counted and talked about my handing over. That is what I remember!”
The other person must have started cursing.
“By the way she said she is watching you, that she doesn’t trust you!”
The curses must have now transformed into prayers.
(Oh, so he has accountability issues?)
#######
Then his airtime ran out.
He must have loaded more from MTN Mobile Money or Airtel Money.
“You know that Maureen was trying to cheat me out of my cash. But I schooled her on the labour laws. Gwe, that meeting was hot! I told her I was not going to swallow her stupid nonsense!”
Then he went off on a tangent about contracts and labour laws and how Maureen was being a pain in the wrong place. The way the conversation was being conducted was in lecture form- but he stressed about the BLOODY pain in the wrong place that Maureen was.
(Oh, so unemployment looms?)
###########
Then in perfect Luganda, “Nze n’genda ku-handinga over today. Naye I need my two months payment in full. And then I will go and enjoy a month in Zambia. Bya kweyiiya! Mwe mubeere awo Molini (Maureen) abafuge! I leave on Monday.”
(This man really is multi-lingual!)
##########
Then we were in Wandegeya and the conversation came to a premature end as he shouted to the conductor that he was getting off.